Bibliophile

I’ve always loved Jonathan Ng alias Eden, from the first time I tumbled onto drugs and drowning in 2016 to the present, having wings on repeat.

I am not the one to gush over celebs and idolize them for no particular reason but Eden has been an exception and not just because of his touching voice but because of his lyrics and how much they’ve stuck to me whenever I go through my phases.

He has a particular way with his words, even though every song is laced with melancholy, tranquil solitude, and subtle tragedy it still corresponds to every mood of mine.

These are some of my favorite lines from his songs that I’d like to share:

• Can you really want what you don’t have enough? Everything you ever wanted adding up To be the reason you can’t stand it now
  You talk a lot, well act like it. Wings.

-sometimes we don’t always get what we want. There is sacrifice along the way but it doesn’t mean the wishful dreaming stops as well. This line basically screams ‘if you really want it you’ll work for it.’

• Aftermath of one too many words I have said when I should have said nothing at all. Drowning

-over sharing has always been my problem and the aftermath after the revelation is nothing but tragedy. I sing this to myself whenever I am in the verge of saying something irrelevant.

 

• So if you loved me how was I supposed to know?  ‘Cause now we’re fading and losing what we wanted most
  but in spite of how you feel, it’s not the end of the world
  some say these things are for the best. Wings.

-the love I have for this line is beyond words. I don’t fully understand why I love it so much but it just eases me, the end verse gives me hope, despite what we go through there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

• The place where the sun meets the sky, I’ll get there someday. Wings.

-the place described only exists as you stare into the horizon. In a way this line describes a sort of neverland, somewhere where we really want to be but we can’t ever make it there.

 

• And all we ever wanted
  Was sunlight and honesty
  Highlights to want to repeat
  Let’s get away from here and
  Live like the movies do
  I won’t mind when it’s over
  At least I didn’t think for a while.  End credits

-this verse speaks for itself.

 

• Change comes slow, if you hate what is in your head the fk would you speak your mind. Crash.

-i hate it when people claim to be so-called ruthless, straightforward or upfront honest while all they are doing is spreading hate. Please stop this, if you don’t like it deal with it, the other person doesn’t need your ‘honest’ advice.

 

• Icarus, I can’t escape this fall, falling in reverse. Icarus.

-icarus is a Greek mythological character, he is supposed to represent recklessness because when he was given his wings to fly away he was warned about not going too close to the sun, as it would melt his wings or going too close to the sea, as he would splurge into the sea. But as he finally found his escape with his wings, he was filled with such ecstasy that he momentarily forgot the warnings and gave in to the pleasure, which caused to be his death (he fell backwards i.e. reverse into the sea).

-what I understand from this line is that, despite the tragedy-ending, icarus died with contentment as he finally received the bliss of freedom, even though it was for a short moment.

-sometimes we have no control over our emotions and feelings but life is just like Icarus’ short lived bliss, nothing lives forever, just live your life to the fullest with no regrets.

 

• I guess I don’t know how to live with a good thing and not break it into nothing, self destruction feels so close. Icarus.

-anxiety ruins so many good chances for us, our fear of failing stops us from stepping out of our comfort zone and this is what I feel when I hear this. This self doubt will ruin the good things for me.

 

• I always thought that there’d be more than just wishing my life away. Nocturne.

-reading books has been curse for me. I might feel proud of being an avid reader but I have an unusual high expectations for everything, some which are not possible in reality. Half of the time I am just wishing for things I can’t have.

 

• Is this burning right am I living bridges learning through future solecism. Start//end

-burning right and living bridges means the opposite of ‘burning bridges’ which basically means cutting off some ties with some people. Although I’ve outgrown certain relationships, I still try to maintain the few that I have.

-learning through future solecism is the mindset I have; it means learning through the mistakes I am yet to make. I have learnt through my past and I know I am not perfect enough to not make any more of them. This is me trying to be kind to myself.

 

• These thoughts I would never speak out loud. I’ve seen you cry but I’ve never seen you shout like a hurricane these shots don’t ricochet. Drowning

-we all have certain dark thoughts, somethings we would never admit out loud and that’s okay, it’s part of being human. I like how this line also glorifies woman, we can be vulnerable but if we wanted to, we can also be as strong as a hurricane.

 

• ‘Cause I’m scared of all that I don’t know. Circles.

-this songs starts with ‘if I tell you how this story ends, would you change the step you take?’

-for me this is a song about the fear for the uncertainty (future). It’s something I struggle with a lot, not knowing what happens next is scary but it’s part of our growth process, we need to take a leap of faith.

 

• Let go, give these ghosts a new home
  and let’s bury our past and our fears and all these bones. Circles

-don’t dwell on what’s gone. Just move on

 

• Don’t let the monsters in your head Become your fears. Cause you can save yourself, you know. Maybe I can’t be what you want but I’m just who I am, and I’m trying to be what you could need. I’ll be there for you, when no one else cares. Falling in reverse.

– hero complex is when one has a desire or compulsion to try and save anyone who’s hurting. It’s not as pretty as it sounds, it’s an involuntary empathy and compulsion to bend yourself to try and help the other. You can’t heal others if you’re not healed yourself.

–even though this song is not about being a hero, it’s about Eden trying to say ‘it’s okay, you’ll be fine you got this’ but this out of context line calls out to me in such way.

xxx

These are ONLY some of the few songs and lines I love of Eden. I am looking forward for his next album, a part 2 seems like a definite possibility.

Are you Jonathan’s fan as well? If yes, let me know your favorite songs!